Life Carries On

It's now 2:31 am on Wednesday June 1st 2005 and I'm not sleeping so I'm going to post on my BLOG. So thanks to all you "faithful" people who keep checking back to see if I've posted anything new but I haven't published anything in a few weeks. Well it's mostly because I don't know what to say ... no forget that ... I do know what to say I'm just hesitant to say any of it ... but if I don't then I know that it's just going to suck even more so here goes.

As most of you know about 13 days ago (on Thursday May 19th 2005) one of my good friends William Crawford Storey Elder left this earth to join his Heavenly Father. He was 22 years old and a great friend. Will and I grew up together at TACF and I was priveledged for almost 15 years to call him not just "friend" but a true "brother". 15 years ... geez that's such a long time and I don't know what to say or do.

I don't know what I should be feeling, I don't know what I should be saying. The reality of everything is that I feel that I've been royally gipped with not getting to see one of my closest friends run through life, and not only that, he doesn't get to stand here next to me seeing me pursue my dreams. I don't have a way to describe what goes on in my mind, or even in my heart but all I know is that I feel empty inside. I feel like there is a small gap and hole in my life that I don't know if it can be filled again. I know that God is amazing and sovereign and I love God so much, I just don't know what to feel. I'm soooo gloriously happy that my friend is no longer in pain and he is set free from it all, but at the same time I'm so sad that he's gone and even more angry that I won't be able to share great moments with him.

I'm lying awake at 2:40 in the morning just crying because I feel so crappy. I can't even imagine what's happening with his family. Will has two sisters (Melanie & Meghan, both twins I might add) and they are so brave and courageous. I saw them last Friday night and I was so glad to see that they were doing well. It means a lot to know that they are doing well ... I really want to be there for them but I don't know how to really. Schunker is doing an amazing job in supporting them and I'm glad.

It seems that in all the hustle and bustle of my life, from TACF, to Blockbuster, to Family, to life, to everything that I just haven't had enough time to stop and think. That's mostly why at 2:45 in the morning, I’m having trouble sleeping because I’ve finally stopped and my thoughts catch up with me. I wonder how Will is doing, is he glorifying God? Well of course he has to be … if Will is living the way up there the way he lived down here than he is most definitely glorifying God and that’s awesome. I look at his “celebration” we held on Tuesday May 22nd 2005 and 20 people gave their hearts to God. That’s so cool.

The words of a song by a random band named Faceless saw me through a tough time when I lost my GrandMother and now when I’ve lost a brother (Will … in case you weren’t following) but it helps me to realize that I’ve gained an eternal brother in heaven. So here are the words:
------
Don’t let your light just fade away now,
Don’t let your soul just drift away
Let me show your heart the truth
Let me show you why I made you

‘Cause I can see that you’re broken
and the pain just rips so deep
But if you’d let me rescue you, I know you’ll rest in me, rest in me

So now is the time,
That you’ve got to turn
Fall on your knees
And embrace all of the grace that is coming your way, your way

So don’t be scared, I’ll help you stand
Be the things you never had, just know that I’m here walking with you child all the way, all the way, all the way

Don’t let your light just fade away now,
Don’t let your soul just fade away
Don’t let time steal your days now
Don’t let all just slip down the drain
For every tear you cry, two run down my cheek
For every door you can’t open, I am holding a key
Trust in me, I will lead you

Now is the time, that you’ve got to turn
Fall on your knees and embrace all of the grace that is coming your way, your way.

Don’t be scared, I’ll help you stand,
Be the things you never had, just know that I’m here walking with you child all the way, so know that I’m here by your side all the way.
So know that I’m here, walking with you all the way, all the way.
------

William Crawford Storey Elder, you make sure that you tell Elijah about me, and I want you to know that I still expect you to be there beside me as I run the race of life and to see how good a job I've done, I just pray and hope that I can finish as well as you did. You've done me proud, you've done us all proud and you have made your mark on history.

Bless you my friend, my brother
Uncle Thomas Benjamin David Kennedy Jr. II